Dear Readers,

“Mother’s Day is a sham that ruins a perfectly nice spring weekend,” according to a friend of mine, whom I’ll call Alice. This came in response to a message I’d sent to my book club’s group chat, asking the moms if they wanted any particular gifts or experiences for Mother’s Day. Their responses included:

• I want to sleep until 10 am. 

• I want to go to brunch on a random weekend when the restaurants aren’t overpriced and swarming with nonsense. 

• I wouldn’t kick a diamond out of bed …

• I want to be left to my own devices. I just want the day to myself.

• I want to go away for the weekend and have breakfast in bed in a hotel … where someone else will clean up the crumbs. 

• I’d love fancy pajamas or a really nice facial cream. But not just cheap, ticking the boxes type stuff. No pizza parties in the breakroom to stop the union drive!

• I do love flowers! But I want them to come in a vase, so I don’t have to do any work arranging them.

Alice continued: “I lowkey (highkey) loathe Mother’s Day.” She — and our other friends — all want to avoid over-crowded restaurants and spas. “And don’t even think about looking in the direction of a garden center or botanical garden!” Then there’s accounting for her own mother and mother-in-law. She usually just ends up making the plans herself, despite having a generally helpful and thoughtful husband. 

What would she like to do? This year, she’s thinking about “pitching” the idea that she and her own mom visit an estate sale while her husband watches the kids. Then, her husband can make dinner on the grill and maybe the whole family will go to the local ice cream parlor. 

In honor of Alice and the other moms who think that Mother’s Day is nicer in theory than in practice, I’d like to suggest the following ideas:

• Ask if there’s anything she’d like for Mother’s Day. Do that! 

• Seek inspiration in an old holiday or birthday wishlist.

• Consider her least favorite chores around the house. Pick one and just do it for the month of May. 

• Take the kids out for the day so that she can sleep in and have the house to herself.

• Plan a weekend getaway, either with or without kids. Actually do all the planning — including figuring out childcare.

If you’re looking for a gift for a mother who generally loves receiving presents, then you’ve finally arrived at the right place. Below, you’ll find a few items that many (but not all!) mothers may enjoy. I’ve also included two wonderful articles about wild animal mothers and the activists working to project them. No matter where it happens, mothering is tough work and worthy of our appreciation.

Happy Mother’s Day, and happy shopping! 

– Elizabeth Weinstein, Marketplace Editor

P.S. I ran this all by Alice. She cautioned: “You may get some flack from people because the ‘moms just want to be left alone on Mother’s Day’ thing is taboo, even if it’s true for a lot of people!” So please show Alice, and the mothers in your own life, some grace. She suggests: “Whatever you do give her, pair it with a gesture. Don’t just hand over the gift without having a nice plan for the rest of the day.”